Ever wonder about what sort of research really gets done in Computer Science labs? Watch this video. Expect to see a Banff Centre conference about the fusion of video games and bodily functions any day now.

I was in a clothing store today looking for socks and I found pants that cost 995 dollars. Just on a rack with normal pants. They were made of some sort of suede - probably from baby kittens or something. 995 dollars! Shouldn't they at least be behind some sort of special display case or something? What if someone spills coffee on them or something? Aren't they concerned that the anti-capitalism people who vandilize all the billboards are going to come and write slogans on them?

Or maybe they're self-cleaning pants. Maybe that's why they cost $995.

And in other news - IKEA names don't alwasy translate so well. Not surprising, really. I like IKEA, but I think the way they name things is ridiculous.

As for Computer Science...I was talking with someone the other day who had a friend in CS at Waterloo, and said friend spent upwards of 3 days in the lab on occaison. She was horrified, and I had some trouble understanding why. Now, Waterloo is known for having a particularly demanding program, but I don't think this is terribly unique. But then I got to thinking about spending a lot of time in the lab. I know a lot of CS people who did that sort of thing just for fun. Me included. Which most people see as kind of weird...

Maybe it is weird. But it didn't feel weird. Non-CS people seem to think that we must be slaving away at impossible assignments. But that's not really how it was. The thing is, CS assignments are rarely ever 'done'. Which is similar to other classes, but in CS it's really easy to compare with other people. Say you are writing an essay. Now, it's never finished. At some point you just stop. But what if you were writing your essay in the same room as 30 other people writing the same essay, and you were constantly comparing essays? Reading eachother's work. Seeing that someone else has a way better introduction, and that girl over there has a much better bibliography, and so on. Would you ever feel like you were done?

This is what all computer science assignments are like. It's partly the lab, I think. Everyone working on the same assignment, sitting in close proximity. It's impossible not to talk with the people around you about your progress, bugs, etc. And I definitely think it's good, but it's also really competitive. Not in an aggressive way, like you have to beat that other guy (not most of the time, anyway). But it's really hard to stop when you can see other people have done better work than you.

I got distracted from this and now I don't remember where I was going with it. Oops.

I just saw a street preacher on St. Catherine - I didn't really stop to listen, but his sign had these three words on it: Jesus, Life, Nintendo.

I wonder what your score on Super Mario Brothers has to be to get into heaven...

Well, I started my job on Monday. I haven't had a lot of free time since then. Still trying to figure out how to get up at 6:30-ish every morning, and not be dead tired.

I just read this article about programming (hacking) and it's utterly brilliant. So you should read it, if you want to be a good coder, or want to maybe understand why some programmers are the way they are. I got most of the way through it when I came to this bit:

I've been the recipient of many a weird look after someone in the lab asked me for help, and the first thing I did when I sat down at their computer was reformat the code around the bit they were asking me about.

I'm going to sleep now, because I need to...

Hey, I moved into a new apartment (again - third time this year...). It's nice except right now they are painting the bathtub so I can't shower here. That really sucks. And it smells like toxins, which isn't nice either. I won't be dry until next Sunday - until then I have to go for a walk in the morning to my old place to shower...

It's been a long time since I posted anything here. I was basically away from my computer the whole time. But I'm back now. And I'm posting this video and this java applet. The applet is cool. In case you can't figure out what to do, you drag your mouse and click and try to get the satellites to orbit. I got one doing figure 8's around the moon and the earth.

(Yes, I'm a huge nerd)

I think I have a hangover. It's unpleasant. Last night I went to a place called something like....er..."something du ciel". Anyway, apparently it's known as one of the best places to get Montreal microbrew, and it was pretty good. Pints were 5 bucks, which was a bit expensive, but the beer was great.

I wasted 5 minutes reading this today. I wouldn't suggest going past the first few paragraphs. It starts out kind of clever - a video game review of "real life" - but quickly degenerates. I especially like the part where he speaks of "real life"'s economics - I quote: "generally the game's financial system is well balanced.....rewarding for those who put forth proportionally more effort". Makes me want to reach through the computer and smack him. Nothing like a bit of ignorance to wake you up in the morning...

(yes, for me 1:58pm still counts as 'morning')

I may be somewhat extra-bitter because I just finished reading No Logo, which is a fantastic book. It ought to be 6th grade required reading. Some of the material is a bit dated - particularly since it was published before the big WTO riots (oh, sorry - "protests"). But some parts of it are really eye-opening. I wasn't particularly shocked by the chapters on the horrors of third-world sweatshop labor - I think it's hard *not* to be aware of the terrible conditions there. I was less aware of the terrible working conditions that a lot of people have in North America.

I guess I'm relatively privileged - the last time I worked in the service industry, I was 16 and only looking for part-time. We all knew we were only going to get minimum wage. But people working at Starbucks for 10 years and still only getting 8 or 9 bucks an hour? Walmart calls 28 hours a week 'full time', but of course they don't have to give you benefits until you work legal full time (40 hours). 40% of fast food workers are in the 25-55 years old range. They get shit for pay. They have no job security. If they try to unionize, the companies just close the stores.

There is no way this situation can last. Say goodbye to any sort of social services - where will all the tax money come from? It's absurd. I think about my graduating CPSC class - and how few of them can find work right now . Enrollment doubled in the few years after I started, and all those people are going to come out looking for work and *not* finding it. Ok, so it's a bad time to be a programmer. But it's not just programmers - it seems like for most people a university degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on. It just means 20-30k in debt, and you have to pay it off working for 8 bucks an hour. Naturally, enrollment is skyrocketing, because at least you get a 4 year break from the shitty service-industry job. The situation is *fucked*.

Anyway, that's my little rant for the day. I have to go carry a couch frame across downtown now. And get a haircut. Oh yes, a haircut...

The place I usually get my haircut is called 'Prosper Coiffure pour Hommes'. (That's "for men"). The barbers are two old French guys. Today I went in but there was only one old French guy, so I had to wait. I sit down, and look to pick up a magazine. The magazine on the top of the stack is a Playboy. So are the rest of them, except a Time at the very bottom.

Sometimes this city is completely surreal. Maybe it's because I'm from Alberta...

Yup. AM. Morning. Evil.

WTO is in town. Weird, it's following me - last year I was in Calgary when the WTO came to Kananskis. Of course, nothing actually happened in Calgary. I think there was a protest or something downtown. There were pictures in the paper. It was not large.

Somewhat different story here. The "real" protests are supposed to be today and tommorrow - I'm just hoping they don't fuck with transit. I can hear a lot of sirens right now, but no helicopter. There was a helicopter yesterday morning. Maybe all the action is on the other side of downtown. Too bad, it might have been a good excuse to stay home from work..."Sorry, I can't come in - police have barricaded me into my building". Fingers crossed...

I liked this bit in one of the other gazette stories:

Will the war between Those Who Own a Porsche and Those Who Do Not ever end? It seems like it's been going on forever. They're just being stubborn. Do they even remember what they're fighting about?

So, Transhumanists are creepy. I've never heard that term before, but I'm familiar with the idea, and I think it's pretty fucked up.

Speaking of fuck, this is kinda funny. Apparently the defendant in question told his principal to fuck off, and eventually ended up in court, charged with "interfering with the staff, faculty, or students of an educational institutional". The public defender's motion-to-dismiss is a nice history of the word, with statistics on common use and other legal f-word precedents. The kind cut a plea bargain before it went to trial, but it might be handy to keep around in case you ever get in 'fuck' trouble. I know a lot of people (myself included) who use it like it's just another word, but there are many people who don't see it that way...

Anyway, back to transhumanists. It's tricky. How much flesh do you have to replace before you aren't 'human' anymore? I'm sure someone will pick an arbitrary number and make it the legal amount, just like 18 years and 1 gram. Then we can quibble about what actually counts. Instead of "come on officer, some of that is seeds", people will say "but the battery pack is external".

Speaking of batteries, how are we going to power all this inanimate add-on junk? We actually meaning 'other people', cuz I'm not implanting anything that needs to be recharged, refilled or replaced every 7 days. Maybe designer head-grafted-solar-panels will become chic. But even if they solve the power problems, who reboots you if you crash?

Robopeople don't freak me out as much as nanites do. Now, I'm usually all about the nanites. Little machines that can go in and cure my cold, make sure I've got all my vitamins, and trim my nosehair? Sweet. But then you just know some loon is going to make those evil nanites that do all sorts of nasty stuff. Apparently the standard term is the 'gray goo' scenario, where some nanites reduce everything to component bits (essentially liquefying everything), but I don't think that's very creative. I mean, I guess that could happen by accident. But I'm more worried about that guy out there that wants everyone to have two heads.

Actually, that might be kind of neat, as long as you had nanites that would also get rid of the extra head when not wanted. I'd let the extra head do the smiling-and-nodding when I want to read on the metro. I'd get so much reading done...

Nanites are the ultimate catch-22. I can think of a way to do just about anything with nanites, but 'just about anything' includes all the bad shit too. We can't really control any technology - at least our track record to date is not so hot - so sooner or later someone would fuck up and then we'd all be gray goo'd. So maybe I'm not so excited about the nanites...

But I don't think transhumanists are really that big into nanites anyway. They seem to be more about replacing the soft, fleshy bits with alloys and ceramics and cables. This Natasha Vita-More, apparently one of the trans-humanist movement founders, has plans for her 'optimized' human here, and a handy comparison chart here. Fucking psychotic if you ask me. What the hell do you want 'texture-changeable skin' for anyway? "Hrrmm... today I think I'd like to feel like sandpaper". I guess it's a handyman's wet dream...

The transhumanists claim that if we're ever going to leave earth, we can't be so squishy. Re space travel:

This strikes me as just incredibly pessimistic and, well, stupid. I'd like to see these people cross the pacific in an outrigger canoe they build themselves. Still too delicate? I think maybe it's just a case of skinny nerds wanting to finally get a piece of the action. I'm a skinny nerd myself, and I know we've been shafted on the space program so far. Only super-fit airforce pilots get to be astronauts!??! You think that doesn't give skinny nerds an inferiority complex ?!? Comic books stopped telling us to drink our milk and exercise a long time ago, now it's all about the adamantium skeleton. They know their audience...

Anyway, it's late. I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed and dream about a day where every man, woman, child and toaster oven will have the same universal transhuman rights. Or maybe I'll dream about bunnies...

Right, so I've been berated both verbally and electronically for not updating more often. Hoetz sez I have fans. I can never think of stuff to write on here. Maybe I need to start keeping track of all the wild and crazy stuff that happens to me. Or doesn't....

Anyway, I did just about see a puppy get run over the other night. Some moron let his dog run loose and it bolted out into the intersection right in front of me. A jeep almost smooshed it, it was underneath the front bumper when the jeep finally stopped. I was busy making one of those 'noooooooooooo' faces and pointing at said puppy. This was just a few feet away from me, so while the dog was freaking out I grabbed it's leash and the aforementioned moron/owner came and took it from me. It was fucked up. I almost saw a puppy get smooshed. A puppy! Fuckers...

My work paid for us to go on a boat cruise on the St Laurent river (that's the St. Lawrence in Alberta textbooks). It was ok, we got out of there pretty fast though. But a few of the people I work with hung around and evevntually started walking home through downtown. They saw a homeless guy and they gave him some change, at which point he says to one of them something like "Want to pet my bird?". Now, you have to be careful when a homeless guy says stuff like that. You don't really know what to expect. Maybe he's a pervert. Maybe he's hallucinating. Maybe he has a wooden duck. Or maybe he has a real, live (or dead) bird on him. So the girl says "sure, I'll pet your bird", and he pulls out a real, live pigeon. Out of his pocket.

What else? Medicine Hat was overrun with a plague. A plague of chinch bugs. Pretty crazy. And if you want to work up a little rage for all the people taking advantage of the shitty job market, start here and then click on the Fuck That Job! link.

Ok, I should go to work now.

The power is (was) out in Toronto. I was expecting someone to fly through Toronto today. The flight was cancelled. I am not happy.

Pretty crazy about that whole power thing, eh? I kinda wonder why Quebec wasn't affected. I'm glad they weren't, althought I could have used a day off....

Oh, and someone tried to steal from my bank account. Fuckers. Monday night my debit card stopped working, so I went home all ready to yell at TD for screwing something up. I ended up talking to TD fraud prevention, who told me that someone in Laval had been checking my balance, or 'scoping out the account', as they say in the industry. I wonder if the guy on the phone expected me to be more outraged...

Anyway, they didn't manage to steal any money, which is good. But it is a pain in the ass to suddenly have no debit card and no open banks. I just got a new card today. I got thorough instructions from the teller on how I should always cover my hand when I punch in my pin, check that the camera isn't covered up at debit machines, and not to let shady depanneur cashiers swipe my card under the counter. Apparently this isn't an infrequent thing, and it generally happens at deps...

(Albertanites: a 'depanneur' is like a 7-11, only they aren't chains, and you can buy beer at them, some 24-hours a day....)

I'm bored...

Nothing deep today, just some k-rad links. First, before and after pix of the area affected by that big blackout you might have heard of. Funny how even though all of New York was blacked out, it's still pretty bright (compared to Toronto). I wonder why.

Second, a story about ATM scams. You know, like what happened to me. I guess it's not so uncommon. Now I'm paranoid about using my bank card at those non-bank ATMs, and I always look for the camera at the bank ones, and make sure the slot doesn't look weird. Goddamn theives...

Hey, nerds looking for jobs (you know, the only people that read this site besides my girlfriend). If you happen to get an interview where they want sample code, it would probably be good if you had read this first. It's a bunch of examples of how *not* to write sample code. Oh, and brush up on the C 10 Commandments. And read the articles linked to at the end of the first one. Just a tip.

BTW, EA is hiring in Montreal. In case you were looking for a job...